A Large Chair Does Not Make a King

With a change in attitude, work can now commence. Having determined site boundaries and ownership, the garden in question shall require a detailed site survey and analysis. This must be done by someone who thoroughly understands the rational landscape design/planning process and is able to follow it through its various inter-related stages to a successful conclusion. Therefore you must Use a Design Professional to Create a Garden that falls reasonably within your Budget.

The old adage warns us not to be “penny wise and pound foolish.” Using a landscape design professional ultimately saves you money. How? Well, you avoid the risk of making regrettable, uninformed decisions that could cost you. Making the best, highest quality decisions for a garden landscape is a great cost saver and by engaging a professional, you make the most of your budget. An expert will explore all the possibilities available in order to achieve the design brief within your budget, making the most of it.

This crucial preliminary stage ensures each step is spelt out to specifications facilitating a more efficient installation of the landscape. Increased efficiency immediately translates to lower overall costs. In the words of Paul "Red" Adair, “If you think a professional is expensive, wait 'til you try an amateur.”

A casual drive through any highbrow neighborhood will reveal row after row of stately homes with horrendous landscapes or, at best, second or third-rate attempts at greening. As a landscape specialist, I am confounded at how a homeowner can purchase or erect a magnificent million dollar edifice and then subsequently pick a ham-fisted roadside plant nursery vendor to establish its landscape. It’s as ludicrous as handing the Presidential limousine over to a roadside mechanic for a comprehensive overhaul!

I must offer a word of caution here, though. In Warri-speak, “Shine your eye!” Your quest for a landscape specialist will bring you into contact with all sorts of charlatans making stupendous claims. You will meet the certified, qualified, registered, card carrying “expert” who knows everything there is to know about agriculture, botany, geology and horticulture. Heck, he’s even mastered entomology. He leaves you with an incredible pumpkin-sized headache, distinctly more aware of the sorry state of your landscape than ever before. There’s just one niggling problem, however. By the time the job is completed and your savings account significantly depleted, your “consultant” may leave you with a most comprehensive didactic analysis of why your garden landscape somehow still doesn’t look or feel the way it should … even though you have just spent a fortune on it.

So how do you avoid falling prey to the green opportunist? First, you must always insist on a list of verifiable previous projects and clientele whom you can contact. Should your “expert” begin to proffer deeply multifarious explanations as to why he cannot possibly divulge the names of any of his previous clients to you…run like crazy! Secondly, don’t even consider engaging the services of anyone who is unwilling to provide post-establishment maintenance services. After all, is that not what the entire after sales warranty/guarantee business is about?

Apply fitting ability in the fitting place

Nigeria needs a more hands on approach by those who truly can. Enough with the committees and hot air and cliché-riddled speeches and seminars and even more committees and symposia! We need much more involvement from self-motivated men and women known for practical performance and with confirmed capacity. Such people must have enjoyed some quantifiable success (however modest) and possess impressive established records not only due to their aptitude in their respective fields, but also as a result of their meticulous application of fundamentally sound human resource, business and/or management principles.

I am not here refering to those cerebrally infertile misfits whose only claim to fame and fortune is contaminated wealth garnered through the reprehensible art of dipping into the till. That, for me, is far more illogical than intelligent since we all know that one day “the chickens will come home to roost.” Inversely, I am talking about efficient executors and practical performers; trail-blazers and game-changers. It has been wisely noted that those who can, perform. Those who can’t…well, they will pose, prop, prance, pontificate and, if given the chance, plunder and, as a result, be eventually  purged from our dear society.

The late, great Prof. Dora Akunyili (14 July 1954 – 7 June 2014) as Director General, National Agency for Food Drugs Administration and Control along with her colleague, Mallam Nasir Ahmad El-Rufai - Minister, Federal Capital Territory were both doers of deeds. Love them or loathe them, they were master executors who not only talked the talk, but certainly also walked the walk.

 Although I never much cared for Mallam El-Rufai’s intellectual arrogance, it was always refreshingly amusing to observe him constantly running rings around a giddy legislature before leaving them trailing in his wake. During his environmental blitzkrieg in November of 2003, I personally lost over N6,850,000.00 in direct legitimate environmental investments as a “collateral victim,” and was left with a brusque, meaningless apology. I shudder to imagine the amplitude of losses I might have sustained if I was the primary target of “Hurricane Rufai!” In retrospect, however, I realise it wasn’t entirely a loss as I acquired a great deal of experience through the highly convoluted processes of collaborating with the then Task Force on Greening, after which I garnered some goodwill from the Department of Parks and Recreation, Federal Capital Territory Administration. Win some, lose some, I guess.

In view of the raw deal I got during Mallam Nasir El-Rufai’s stint as FCT Minister, I should be the least likely person to have anything positive to say concerning the man. This much, however, I must concede. However flawed he might have been, El-Rufai had a clear purpose, he laid out a lucid plan, he had a procedure, and we saw the product. The only thing lacking, for me, was the final P… preservation. So much of what he accomplished has been either reversed or entirely obliterated. I believe this is partly due to his inability (or was it just stubborn refusal?) to endorse the much touted green manual which was to be some sort of regulatory policy framework, produced through a collaboration of stakeholders and government in order to significantly improve on the Abuja Environmental Protection Decree of 1997. Without a well-defined, comprehensive structure, little can be preserved. But that’s another story.

Isn’t it about time that we insist that holders of public trust be proven performers in previous projects and/or programs? I’m about to wade into murky waters here, but I’ve just about had enough of these Fellows of Institutes of Management who have never successfully managed even a small-scale business and Fellows of Institutes of Personnel Management who are unable to manage their domestic staff! Maybe this will drive the point home; while we’re at it, why not appoint an “Honorary General” as Chief of Army or Defence Staff, an “Honorary Judge” to the Supreme Court and an “Honorary Inspector General” to command the Nigeria Police Force?

We are unfortunately stuck, as a nation, in a rut today due to our foolish, fruitless fixation on flair and flamboyance and our unreasonable, unrealistic overemphasis on paper qualifications, many of which are not even worth the paper that they’re printed on. True to form, desperate and dubious Nigerians now use every means concievable, legal or not, to obtain these precious “tickets” to a better job, promotion or appointment. And where does that leave us? In “Toronto,” with a potpourri of policy makers and public officials who somehow mysteriously happened to “qualify” for the positions they occupy.

Inevitably, such people turn out to be not only thin-skinned, but highly intolerrant of any form of criticism, even if it be constructive. They are totally averse to change simply because it unsettles them and threatens their comfortable papier-mache thrones. In order to preserve the lie, these tingods will surround themselves with an unpolished horde of equally clueless and infinitely dimwitted acolytes who will stop at nothing to protect and sustain the jamboree.

In 1999, shortly after a young man named Salisu Buhari was elected Speaker of the House of Representatives, The News magazine broke the scandalous story that he had won the elections using forged University degrees purportedly obtained from the University of Toronto, Canada, and had also lied about his age, increasing it by 7 years. The magazine report stated that he had never attended the University of Toronto as he had claimed. Since then, in Nigeria, any snide reference to “Toronto” is considered a reference to certificate fraud.

On Thursday, July 23, 1999 a bewildered nation watched in utter shock and incredulity as The Speaker of the House of Representatives, on the exalted seat in the hallowed chambers, addressed his colleagues in tears. “I apologize to you. I apologize to the nation. I apologize to my family and friends for all the distress I have caused them. I was misled in error by zeal to serve the nation. I hope the nation will forgive me and give me the opportunity to serve again.”

Well, this nation has not only already forgiven him, but has given him the opportunity to serve again because on April 3, 2013, the Federal Government, in exercise of its executive powers, reconstituted the governing councils of federal universities and made elaborate appointments therein, including the appointment of Salisu Buhari into the Governing Council of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. The morality, or otherwise, of this appointment is left for the critics to judge, but the salient issue, for me, is that going by the assessment of the majority of his learned colleagues, Alh. Salisu Buhari surpassed all other contenders for the coveted seat. Even more intriguing is the undeniable probability that if the whistle had not been blown concerning his doctored certificate, Alh. Salisu Buhari, already extremely popular amongst his colleagues, may well have turned out to be a most dynamic, and possibly effective, Speaker of the House of Representatives. Crazy, isn’t it?

The private sector is by no means immune to this ‘certification cancer.’ In order to win this contract, or pass that job interview, dud qualifications are obtained. Bigger, of course, is always better since the aim is to blow away any form of reasonable competition. This oftentimes results in near-comical situations at the work place, like where you have a “doctorate degree” holder thoroughly rattled (with good reason!) by a simple yet germane, intellectual inquiry posed by a well educated undergraduate trainee. The former, having simply purchased a paper qualification which resulted in a plum executive position, is intimidated and threatened by the latter who is simply in the legitimate process of acquiring a decent applicable education.

Now, the presence of a counterfeit is positive proof that the original exists somewhere, and it is indeed heartwarming to note that truly competent men and women abound all over Nigeria who somehow, somewhere have aquired an applicable education. You will find them in the Nigerian Armed Forces, the Civil Service (federal and state), the Nigeria Police Force, Federal Road Safety Commission, the Customs and Immigration Services, Civil Defense Commission and, of course, in the private sector. These are the percieved sidekicks who in essence are Nigeria’s superheroes. Although they are the ones actually keeping the ships of industry and state afloat, they just don’t realise it yet and most probably never will. This grossly undervalued, proficient assemblage continue to give us hope that maybe, just maybe, “when lovers of wisdom become holders of political power…” somebody, please slap me awake!

In 2003 in Brazil, President Lula came to power on the wings of personal integrity and an established, recognizable track record. No pontifications here! His lack of formal education had not precluded his acquisition of necessary applicable education and hence did not impede his progress and performance in public life. Today he holds that most enviable distinction of being the key inspiration behind the metamorphosis of Brazil into the undeniably veritable economic force it has become today.

 

Okay, that’s one extreme, you might say. Let’s look at burgeoning trends in Europe. In both Greece and Italy, serving Prime Ministers who were veteran politicians were replaced by seasoned technocrats in 2012. The people chose to place their trust in only those whom they believed possessed both the capacity and inclination to deliver. In these two countries, affairs had gotten to a state where the populace would no longer condone tomfoolery and gerrymandering.

I believe Nigeria is somewhere around that point. The difference between us and our European cousins is that even with significantly heightened citizen awareness, we still appear not yet to have acquired the political sophistication to procedurally lay petitions or organise peaceful protests and effect or influence change. Somehow, ours almost always eventually tend to violence. Our security forces fare no better, as the majority of the lower-ranked personnel percieve society as being divided into two rival assemblages - us versus them. Too frequently, their primary response towards civilians is fiercely aggressive. All that remains to tip the scale right now is that final straw.

In Tunisia, it was a single act of insensitivity and injustice of the authorities towards a “common” fruit seller that sparked an uncommon revolution. The spillover effect challenged the calculations and predictions of the world’s foremost sociopolitical experts, sweeping away some of Africa’s most powerful leaders, and rattling global sociopolitical foundations. Europe was not spared. Neither was America. Till today, the embers of ‘people power’ are still smoldering all over the globe.

 

When I consider the trigger to the Tunisian uprising, and I observe similar or worse situations on a daily basis here in Nigeria, I fear that we are closer to boiling point than we even realize. What makes Nigeria’s situation even more worrisome is that already, we have a detritus of years of unresolved conflicts, distrust and tensions due to ethnic, religious, and regional disharmony. Now, factor in the endangered, debilitated, disgruntled middleclass, and class warfare is immediately  added to an already lethal cocktail.

Further delay in applying sensible redemptive measures in Nigeria will stimulate additional deterioration which can ultimately culminate in an inevitable societal upheaval of cataclysmic proportions. The sooner we get up out of our comfort zones and ‘snap to it,’ the better for us all. The traditional African adage advises us to quickly deal with anything that looks like a snake, instead of speculating on whether or not it is an earthworm as the “earthworm” may eventually grow to become a python one day … just like the Boko Haram sect.